Apply for a Federal Bailout!

by Bruce Feirstein

Vanity Fair

Click to enlarge.

If you’re like most of us on this first day of December 2008, you’re probably looking at your bills and your gift lists and the endless list of people you have to tip this month, thinking, Hmmmm, I could use some of that federal bail out money just about now.

But how do you get your hands on some of those billions? How do you apply? How does Hank Paulson decide why Citibank lives and Lehman Brothers dies?

Well, it turns out that V.F. contributing editor Bruce Feirstein has discovered the über-top-secret Federal Bailout application—the one-page “EZ-CASH” form that’s been making the rounds at corporate board rooms, weekend ski chalets, and NetJets waiting rooms all across America.

Click on the image to see the form, fill it out,

and you too can be rolling in cash again.

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